This has been much harder than I imagined BUT I do feel very passionate about it and sharing our testimonies and how God has always and continues to be there for me all of my life!!
I am going to start out my testimony by laying the foundation of my life and who I am.... Hello, I am Cat and I LOVE GOD above all else. I have fully committed my life to Him and will serve him for the rest of my days. Sadly I must admit my faith has not always been this strong. Now I was raised in church. Actually I didn't even have a choice. My parents always made my sisters and I go to church. My parents were also involved in church. I was saved and baptized around the age of 10. I remember being so excited to get to know the Lord and attend church. I had many friends at church and regularly attended church activities. Up until I was approximately in the 8th grade I looked forward to church and any church activity. I can remember at even a much younger age telling my parents I was going to be a missionary or preacher.....something in the ministry! Well little did anyone know I would quickly turn my back on my faith and take my life into my own hands (if that is what you would even call it??)
As long as I can remember I have severely struggled with my self image and as I got older it only got worse. It went form poor self image to complete depression and hatred for myself. I had no respect for myself. I no longer cared to go to church, as a matter of fact I dreaded it and would "skip" it quite frequently. I remember being so mad at my mom for making me go. I was more concerned when and where the next "party" was. I became a BIG partier...I wont list all the details but I did several things no one would be proud of. I was quickly heading down my downward spiral. Little did many know I had hit ROCK BOTTOM. I had no care in the world. "I just wanted to have fun"...just not the good and healthy type of fun. On several occasions I thought of ending my own life. I gave my parents one heck of a ride...or RIDES!! This lifestyle went on for several years. I visited numerous counselors, experienced several therapy sessions, (lied to everyone) and ran away from all my problems. I felt I had no hope...
I am pretty sure if it wouldn't of been for this one boy who really caught my attention that I would of kept living my life this wrong way...BUT God sent me an angel in disguise. (Guess what that angel is my husband now) Neither one of us realized it at the time...and he sure didn't realize the pain i was personally experiencing (SEE i was REALLY good at hiding it all...if you would of met me I seriously doubt you would of guessed I was depressed, hated myself, and thought of giving up). Ok well anyways I ran into this guy who I liked in middle school and had not seen in years. I was excited and immediately got goose bumps and butterflies. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. (and he still gives me those same feelings) I thought to myself he would never talk to me now, want to date me now etc. But THANKFULLY I WAS WRONG =) and guess what he got me away from my party girl lifestyle. Now many of my "friends" stopped talking to me when I started dating him and since he wasn't interested in going to their parties, neither was I. I now no longer cared about doing the things I did at those parties, now for the first time in a really long time I felt respected, appreciated, and happy!!!
I still to this day feel he saved my life, and even if I do not tell him I will never forget the way he treated me different than anyone else ever had. I knew from the first moment I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him!! (Thank you for everything hunny...LOVE you forever...I know I do not thank him enough)
Actually I owe my parents and the hubby several apologies and thank you...for putting up with me and never giving up..for always loving me!!!
So regardless what everyone told me, I knew Kelly would never let me go ..and still to this day he has not!!
Now there is still more of my journey to who and where I am today..BUT I am thinking this post is already long enough (sorry) I hope I haven't scared anyone away. I PROMISE it gets better and I am such a better and stronger person because of all these things you have read and will continue to read!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
OK I am REALLY nervous about hitting the Publish button...PLease do not judge me by my past. I DO NOT LIVE THERE ANYMORE!!!
Hope you will be willing to read more. This is a lot harder to write than I had imagined and I am still struggling with it...the emotions are overflowing. I just hope I can offer some encouragement and inspiration to someone.